Ep024:
From Death Anxiety to Death Doula
A fear of death can quietly shape an entire life. For Danni Petkovic, that fear was physical and relentless — years of death anxiety that narrowed how she moved through the world. Everything changed when her brother was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. What followed was an intimate, confronting education in dying that didn’t just ease her fear, but led her to her calling as a death doula and death literacy educator, supporting people and families through end-of-life care with clarity, calm, and humanity.
In this episode of No Ordinary Monday, we look beyond the euphemisms that surround death and dying. Danni explains why clear language matters, how death was once handled at home within communities, and what’s been lost by outsourcing those rituals. We talk openly about voluntary assisted dying in Australia, the practical realities most people avoid — advance care directives, wills, and unfinished conversations — and why planning while well is an act of love, not morbidity. It’s a confronting conversation, but a hopeful one: talking about death won’t kill you — avoiding it won’t make you immortal.
EPISODE OVERVIEW
Embracing Mortality: A Journey Through Death Literacy and Personal Transformation
Introduction: In a society that often shies away from discussing death, Danni Petkovic shines a light on the importance of death literacy. Her journey from a death-phobic police officer to a compassionate death doula is a testament to the transformative power of confronting our mortality. In this blog post, we explore her inspiring story and the valuable lessons she shares about life, death, and everything in between.
Understanding the Path of a Death Doula: Danni Petkovic’s career trajectory is anything but ordinary. Starting her journey studying psychology, she quickly realized that her passion lay elsewhere, leading her to join the police force. This role exposed her to the harsh realities of death, shaping her perspective profoundly. "There's so much death in police work, and it's often sudden, premature, traumatic death," she explains. This exposure contributed significantly to her own struggles with thanatophobia, or death anxiety, which plagued her throughout her twenties.
The Turning Point: Danni's life took a pivotal turn when her brother was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. This experience was both devastating and enlightening, as it forced her family to confront difficult questions about death and dying. "What do you want to happen to your body when you die?" These conversations, though painful, proved essential in shaping her brother's end-of-life experience and Danni's own understanding of death.
Finding Purpose in Pain: After her brother’s passing, Danni sought to transform her grief into something meaningful. She discovered the importance of asking the hard questions about death and dying, prompting her to pursue a career as a death doula. "I think we don't ask the hard questions," she notes, emphasizing that these dialogues can be life-changing. Through her work, she encourages others to embrace conversations about mortality, fostering a more open understanding of death.
Challenging the Taboo: Danni challenges the notion that death is a taboo subject. "Death is our only certainty in this human form," she asserts, urging people to stop viewing it as morbid or forbidden. By reframing the conversation, she creates an environment where discussing death becomes a natural part of life, rather than a fearful secret.
Conclusion: Danni Petkovic’s journey from death anxiety to death literacy is a powerful reminder of the importance of engaging with our mortality. By sharing her story, she not only helps others confront their fears but also encourages meaningful conversations about death that can lead to healing and understanding. Key takeaways include the value of open discussions about death, the impact of personal loss on our views of mortality, and the importance of finding purpose in pain. Embracing these conversations can transform our relationship with life and death, making the inevitable a little less daunting.
Tags: death literacy, death doula, thanatophobia, mortality, end-of-life care, personal transformation, grief, mental health, taboo topics
Want to find out more?
Join the conversation on our socials.
© 2025. All rights reserved.